Amor vincit omnia
by shottersnation
Summary: Feliciano's a prisoner at Sobibor, he meets an interesting soldier. (Short summary because I don't want to give anything away)
1. Chapter 1

**Amor Vincit Omnia (means love conquers all)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own APH and I don't make money with this.**

**Warnings: WW2, exterminationcamp, Nazi's, violence, Yaoi. (Don't like, don't read)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Feliciano's a prisoner at Sobibor, he meets an interesting soldier. (Short summary because I don't want to give anything away)**

**The first two chapters might be a little dramatic (because of the subject) which is why it will be different from my other story 'blue eyes', but please be patient, I promise there will be romance too. **

**There might be some errors because I couldn't re-read this (my family keeps distracting me..grrr)**

**Enjoy!**

Feliciano Vargas.

_The smell of the camp is outright terrible. _

_Sleeping in a barack with hundreds of people and sharing your so called 'bed' with three other man is awful. _

_Living in a camp is like hell._

I've been in this hell for only three months but it feels like I've been here for ten years. You forget about time because it doesn't matter anymore ; you will never get out of here alive.. A disturbing thought that keeps repeating itself in my mind, of course I try not to think about it too much just like everybody else ; because we all wish to survive.

This place is called Sobibor, an exterminationcamp in Poland.

I'm here because I used to be a member of the Resistanza ; they captured me when I've tried to blow up a building , a building that happened to be very important to the Nazi's, not that I didn't know about that. We needed weapons and we knew we could find them there. My friends escaped, but I was unlucky that day. Before the war started I used to practice as a doctor in Rome.

I miss my parents, but most of all I miss my brother ; Lovino. He's two years older than me but we could get along very well ; people used to think we were twins.

I would do anything to send him a letter , but it's not allowed to write letters to anyone, and I don't have any money either to pay someone to somehow send a letter to him.

Sacha ; he's one of my best friends and he is a prisoner because he helped hiding Jews.

I first met him while working at the quarry ; which is the hardest work anyone has ever done. We thought that if we would just keep our mouths shut (which is not an easy task for me) and work hard enough that we would be allowed to do other work after a while ; but we were wrong...

I lift my pickaxe, mentally preparing myself for another boring and harsh day when Sacha pokes me in the side.

"What is it?" I whisper. We're not allowed to talk after all.

"Look, there's a new guard" I turn to see who he's talking about and I'm surprised to see it's not the dark haired, fat soldier standing there but another soldier ; he's tall, blonde haired, blue eyed and he looks extremely serious.

"He doesn't look very friendly" I whisper to Sacha.

"I'm sure he's worse than the fat bastard, the young ones always are." Sacha whispers back to me.

We get back to work because we don't want to annoy our new guard on the first day, it could get us killed after all.

...

The sun's burning on our skin and we've been doing this for two hours now. My muscles are hurting.

"Feliciano.. I can't-" Sacha stammers before falling to the ground.

"Sacha!" I kneel next to him, not caring about making noise anymore. He's my best friend and if I lose him... then I don't know what to do.

"Feliciano.. I can't.. I can't do this anymore. S-so tired. I-I'm too old" He whispers. Sacha's fifty years old and despite our age difference we can get along very well.

"Get up!" The sudden booming voice of a German soldier makes me jump. I look up, staring directly into the blond soldier's eyes.

"Please sir.. no more" Sacha dares to say.

"You have to work until five o 'clock, just like everybody else. Now get up!" The soldier doesn't seem to be very angry, rather tired.

"I-I can't" Sacha's still on the floor.

"Please sir, he always works very hard" I bring in, even though it's useless and I suddenly forget how dangerous this situation could get and grab the soldier's wrist ; not to hurt him, just to make him listen. His eyes widen and I immediately realize my mistake and mentally prepare myself to die. I quickly let go of his wrist, not failing to notice the bruise on his pale skin, I must have squeezed harder than I intended to.

"Fine, he can take a break for ten minutes" He says before leaving us. I can't believe what he just said, any other guard would just shoot us right away, especially after my little 'mistake'. "Thank you.." I whisper and I know for sure that the soldier didn't hear me.

Three hundred prisoners are working at the quarry but none of them saw what happened. I help Sacha to get into a sitting position and tell him to take a few deep breaths.

"You'll be ok, you're just tired"

"Take a _break_ for ten minutes?" Sacha's laughing. "The blond soldier must be crazy" Sacha's right, prisoners don't take breaks, they have to work all day untill they die.

"Or maybe he's just eh.. friendly?" I don't seem to believe this myself. There are no friendly Nazi's.

"Feliciano, if another soldier saw what he just did he would be reported ; so he must be crazy to take such a risk"

We both agree on that and go back to work.

At the end of the day I'm really tired, just like everybody else and I find myself staring at our guard again from the corners of my eyes. He's talking to another soldier ; they seem to like each other because they're both laughing. _Laughing_ at a place like this.

"Are you going to write a book about him?"

Sacha's voice brings me back to reality.

"Hm?" What book?

"About the new guard, you've been following his every move today. "

"I did? Well I just think he's interesting, besides there's nothing else to do.. it gives me something to think about while working I guess"

My friend nods. "Yes why not, the Germans are interesting in a weird way"

...

We're standing in line to get our food. I remember when my parents used to cook for me at home we would all eat together at the dinnertable. Having dinner at Sobibor is nothing like that ; prisoners get a plate filled with some soup which is actually more like water and before they have time to sit down at one of the large tables dinnertime is over and they take your plate from you. The SS soldiers enjoy doing this to us.

As soon as we get our plates we run to the table, sit down and immediately start eating. There's no time for talking, not at all.. not if you want to live.

After five minutes a soldier takes my plate from me.

"That's enough for today" He says smiling sadistically,and I recognize him as the soldier who was talking to the new guard a few minutes ago. If the soldier really likes this awful man as a sort of friend, then he must be a monster too.

**Please review & tell me what you think about the first chapter.**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who left me a review, they made me feel like 'woah I've got to write the next chapter right now!' lol **

**(Chapters will be short)**

**Enjoy!**

_Feliciano_

Nothing happened in the next few days ; nothing unusual. I've been staring at the blond soldier all those days, maybe because I want to prove to myself that he's a monster like all Nazi's, but the soldier didn't do anything cruel. I don't understand why I'm so obsessed by him, there are hundreds of SS soldiers at Sobibor but he's the only one I'm interested in.

...

It's just another harsh day and we're working in silence. It's cold outside today and I try to decide if that's a good thing or not while looking around... looking for _him_ again. I gasp when I see him talking to the sadistic bastard again, another prisoner told me his name is Muller. Nobody seems to know anything about the blond soldier yet. I wish for Muller to leave soon like always but this time he doesn't leave. He's the type of person who would just shoot a prisoner for fun.

"Keep working, don't look at them" Sacha whispers to me.

I nod. "You're right"

The pickaxe I'm holding seems to be getting heavier by the second. David, a Jewish prisoner who happens to be a friend drops his pickaxe and slumps to the ground, moaning. Both me and Sacha whisper to him to please get up before the guards find out but it's too late, they already saw what happened and are marching into our direction.

I keep my head low, not giving them any reason to get angry with me but I listen carefully because I'm really curious about the blond soldier's reaction this time.

"Are you tired? Then you should rest" Muller says, pointing his gun at David.

"Muller, that's my job just let me handle this" The blond says smiling.

"Alright Ludwig"

So 'Ludwig'is his name. Ludwig crouches down beside David and helps him to get up. Just when he wants to hand him his pickaxe Muller starts laughing like an idiot.

"Come on Beilschmidt, that's not how we handle things"

"It is the way I handle things" Ludwig snaps.

"You're being too soft, do you want one of those prisoners to burry their pickaxe into your pretty head one day?"

"No I don't, and they won't do that" Is Ludwig's short reply.

"Show them your weakness and they will use it against you someday my friend"

Muller keeps telling him he's too soft until he's driving him crazy. Ludwig finally gives David his pickaxe and David, being the friendly guy he is, shakes his hand and thanks him for it. I watch Ludwig wiping his hand on his jacket. I've been studying him and I found out that whenever someone coughs he always walks away from that person, whenever someone touches his hand he looks really uncomfortable ; which means he's afraid of getting sick. I'm a doctor and I've seen all sorts of diseases at this camp, you easily get infected but nobody seems to care about it as much as he does.

_November_

We wake up to the sound of boots. "Everybody get up! Put on your clothes and go outside. There's nothing to be afraid of"

But it's in the middle of the night, right? I quickly get up and start putting my clothes on.

"Schneller!" They keep shouting at us.

When we get outside the first person I see is Ludwig. He's holding a list.

"Stand in line!" He yells. His cheeks are flushed from the cold.

There are so many SS soldiers, and barking dogs ; it makes us all scared.

The soldiers are wearing nice and warm clothes while we're only wearing pants and shirts.

"Number 112789, Josef Stern?" Ludwig starts.

"Yes, sir!" Said person says.

"Number 112776, David Weiss?"

- "Yes, sir!"

He's going to count all of us to see if nobody escaped, which is really bad because it will take hours. Sometimes people die because of the cold.

I'm so cold and I feel like dying, but I don't want to give up yet , so I just concentrate on Ludwig's voice. Maybe I will write a book about him some day. I smile, realizing how funny this sounds. He's got a deep voice and a heavy accent that's sending shivers up to my spine.

"Number 112695, Feliciano Vargas?" He seems to have trouble pronouncing my name.

- "Yes, sir I'm here!" I answer and I wave at him. He raises his eyebrows, confused but I didn't fail to notice a slight smile forming on his lips.

I hear some prisoners laughing, people always laugh because of my carefree personality.

"Quiet everyone!"

...

_Ludwig_

It's four o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep. Counting prisoners in the middle of the night when it's freezing outside is awful and it makes me feel guilty. Whenever I close my eyes I keep seeing the image of the Italian prisoner ; he seems to be a nice guy and also a very funny one. He has been working at the quarry for a very long time and I'm sure he won't survive another month. There must be something I can do about it. My mind tells me to stop thinking about him, I'm a SS soldier and I shouldn't care about prisoners. Muller was right, I'm too weak and they will take advantage of me. What if they decide to escape one day and just attack me? There are so many of them and they will easily overpower me, and I would definitely hesitate to shoot them. Wait, they are not like that right? but after everything we've done to them.. maybe they will. What would I do if I was one of them?

I share my so called 'bedroom' with Muller, we've known each other for two years now. Muller comes in. Where has he been the whole night?

"Ludwig!" He calls.

"Ja, keep quiet" I whisper. He leans closer to me and I can smell alcohol on his breath. He has been drinking again.

"You shouldn't drink so much alcohol, it makes you aggressive"

Muller takes his gun and points it at me, laughing.

"Bang!" he says.

"Give me the gun and go to sleep, this is not funny"

He hands me his gun and wants to crawl into my bed.

"Nein, get into your own bed" I push him away. He's too drunk to understand what I just said and I lead him to his own bed. Muller hates working at the camp, just like me, so he uses alcohol to forget about things.

_**If you have time, please review!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Pancakes for everyone who left a review. It made me happy to know people still like this story. **

**Enjoy!**

_Feliciano_

"You! Drop your pickaxe and come here!"

I drop my pickaxe. What's going on? Why is Ludwig yelling at me like that. Sacha wants to follow me but I tell him not to. We've been talking to each other for the past five minutes and Ludwig must have heard us. It's over, he's going to shoot me.

"Yes sir?" I keep my head down, staring at his shiny boots.

"There's better work for you, you're going to process belongings" I look up at him but he's avoiding my eyes.

"But why?" I ask.

"No questions" He says and I follow him.

When new prisoners arrive, their belongings are taken away and now I have to collect the valuables which are transported back to Germany. It's one of the best jobs you can get ; you get better food and you don't have to be outside all day.

"Who did this for me?" I ask anyway and the blond seems to understand what I just meant.

"I did" Is all he says.

"Why did you do that?" I can't just be quiet, there are so many questions I would like to ask.

He turns to face me. "Just be happy about it"

"Oh but I'm really grateful! Thank you" So he is a nice person after all. I'm so happy I want to hug him, he practically saved my life, but I don't. We're walking through the snow and when we're at a quiet place with no prisoners or soldiers around he gives me something ; a sandwich wrapped in a newspaper.

What's going on?

"Put it in your mouth, quickly before anyone sees us" He says.

I quickly start eating, it tastes so nice, nothing like the food we get everyday. Why did he do that for me? There are so many prisoners ; why me?

...

_December_

Sacha stole a piece of bread from the kitchen and shares it with me. He doesn't have to work at the quarry anymore, he works at the kitchen now.

"You need it more than I do, you're so young" He says.

"Thank you Sacha. I'm glad you've got a better job now, just like me."

"Yes, thanks to the blond soldier. " He smiles at me. "Are you still going to write a book about him?"

"I think I will someday"

"He likes you" I almost choke on the piece of bread.  
"What do you mean?

"Oh come on, he saved your life. He gave you something to eat and whenever he comes into our barrack he's too shy to look at you"

"But he saved you too" I bring in.

"Just because I'm your friend. You like him too eh?"

"Sacha stop it, falling in love with a SS soldier is like betraying my own people"

"There's nothing wrong with it ; he's a nice person unlike the other soldiers and just dreaming about him won't cause any harm"

I can't hide the blush spreading on my cheeks. "I don't dream about him! I mean eh.. yes he's handsome but it just feels so wrong"

Sacha only smiles. "There will be a Christmas celebration, for all prisoners and soldiers"

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know. but it will be an opportunity to see the blond soldier again." He ruffles my hair.

...

_Ludwig_

"A Christmas celebration?" I can't believe it and throw away the invitation. Me and Muller have the day off and we decided to just stay in our room all day.

"It will be fun, don't be like that. The prisoners will like it too" Muller truly believes this.

"It will be just another opportunity to humiliate them"

"Who cares? As long as there's booze and food"

"You're an idiot!"

"I'm sorry Ludwig, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You're like a brother to me" He pulls me closer to him and I lean my head against his shoulder. "I know that Muller, but it's just so unfair"

"Hm, that's right but it's not our fault. Don't think about it too much ok?"

...

_Feliciano_

It's cold and dark outside and we're standing in line again, this time in front of a large christmas tree.

Most of the SS soldiers are drunk and they force us to sing and dance, and whenever they're not satisfied because prisoners don't smile they just beat us.

It's just like I thought it would be and I wish for it to be over soon, but then I see Ludwig. He's sitting next to Muller and he seems to be sober, Muller however is already drunk.

Sacha follows my gaze. "There's your soldier" He whispers and he winks at me. _My soldier_, I know he won't ever be 'mine' but it still makes me blush.

"Stop it Sacha, before he sees us!" Too late.. Ludwig just saw us staring at him and he's coming our way.

"Merry Christmas" He greets us. "Do you both like your new jobs?"

"Y-Yes sir" We both stammer.

"That's gut. Here's some advice ; leave this place as soon as you can, go back to your barrack. They will only try to humiliate you"

"But we're not allowed to leave" We both protest.

"Just follow me, they won't even notice. They won't count the prisoners tonight. "

We follow him without asking any more questions.

"Sir? Why are you doing this for us?" Sacha asks.

"It's Christmas right?" Is his short reply.

It feels like we've been walking for hours until we finally reach our barrack. Ludwig follows us inside. The barack's empty except for the three of us which is a rare sight ; Usually there are hundreds of prisoners inside.

"Thank you sir"

Ludwig only nods but he doesn't leave.

"You don't want to go back to the party?" I ask hesitantly. Sacha's relaxing at the other side of the barrack, trying to 'leave us alone' for a while.

The soldier shakes his head. "No I don't"

"Then.. please sit down?" I point at the small space next to me on my bed, afraid he might say no and get angry at me. He raises his eyebrows , a look of slight disgust on his face. Not because of me but because of the dirty blanket. I quickly throw the small blanket on the ground and he finally makes up his mind and decides to sit next to me. We're just staring at the wall, not daring to say anything. Maybe this is a little too personal?

I'm shivering but not because I'm cold but because I'm so close to Ludwig.

"Are you cold?" He asks and he finally looks at me. "That's kind of a dumb question I'm sorry" He adds.

"Not really, I actually feel warm for the first time since I arrived at Sobibor."

_Silence..._

Five minutes later he finally speaks up.

"Is it because of me?" His voice is soft, almost a whisper.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Woow another fast update. I really like this chapter myself and I've had a lot of fun with it. This story's starting to control my life, I barely sleep because I keep roleplaying in my head lol. It's all I think about these days.**

**Everyone who left a review ; I'm sorry I don't always send a message back to thank you it's because I'm busy writing all the time.**

**Enjoy!**

_Feliciano_

"Yes it is" I admit .He blushes while taking his watch off.

"What are you doing?" Ludwig gives me his watch. "You can keep it, maybe you can trade it with another prisoner or something.. for food maybe?"

"No! It's way too expensive and it looks good on you" He must be crazy!

He shrugs his shoulders. "It's yours now, just try to buy some food with it, as long as Muller never sees it. He bought it for me last year because we're friends."

"I promise. How can I ever thank you for it?" Maybe he wants something in return?

"You don't have to ok. If there's anything else I could do for you, please tell me"

"Actually there is.. I want to send a letter to my brother" Is it ok to ask him this? What if it gets him into danger?

"Give me this letter tomorrow and I'll make sure he gets it"

I can't control my emotions any longer and wrap my arms around him, but he didn't see it coming and pushes me away. I quickly let go.

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted to thank you. People always think I want to hurt them but it's just my way of thanking people."

This is true, I've always been different.

"It's my fault..I'm not used to it"

Did he really think I wanted to hurt him? I don't think any prisoner would ever dare to hurt one of the SS soldiers.. maybe Ivan Braginski. He arrived at Sobibor last week and I already got into a fight with him three times, he's crazy enough to do something like that.

"What are you thinking about?" Ludwig shifted a little closer to me.

"About this new prisoner, a Russian man, who stole my shoes yesterday. Not that they would ever fit him, just to annoy me. I got into a fight with him, he hit me one time and I ended up on the floor." I feel a little ashamed because of this.

Ludwig smiles. "Just hit him back, you're smart. I'm sure you can handle him"

I'm smart? Nobody ever told me that and I doubt it's true.

"No, he's even taller than you are and he's heavy"

"What's his name?"

"Ivan Braginski. Just don't talk to him or anything, stay the hell away from him"

"You almost seem worried about me" He smiles.

"I am! He's a giant!" I'm standing on my tiptoes, flailing my arms and I suddenly realize how ridiculous I look.

"Now I'm really curious about this Russian giant.. "

"Wait I shouldn't be telling you what to do right? but still you have to stay away from him"

Ludwig's laughing. "I promise. But I have to go back now, the Christmas celebration is almost over"

"That's ok. Thanks for being here with me"

I hug him again, this time he stiffens but I don't let go until he finally relaxes into my touch.

"Bye Feliciano"

"Bye Ludwig"

...

_Feliciano_

The next morning at 5am I find it really hard to get up because I didn't sleep at all last night. I couldn't stop thinking about Ludwig.

Everyday's the same ; you always wake up to the sound of people coughing.

I get up and put my clothes on, Ludwig's watch safely hidden in one of my socks. Where are my damn shoes? No not again..

"Lost your shoes, da?" Ivan Braginski's towering over me, holding my shoes.

"Please give them back to me, you don't need them" I need them back, how can I go outside without any shoes on? There's so much snow.

The tall Russian smiles but doesn't give them back to me.

Two soldiers are coming in and I'm happy to see Ludwig's one of them. Happy but also worried, because Ludwig's coming our way.

Of course he doesn't greet me, or smile at me because we have to pretend nothing happened.

"What's going on?" He asks Ivan, sounding very unfriendly. Ivan straightens his back, I was right he's taller than Ludwig. The Russian doesn't seem scared of him at all.

"Nothing sir, I just wanted to give Feliciano his shoes back" The Russian's smiling innocently.

"Don't let it happen again, or you will regret it" I've never heard Ludwig speak like that to anyone and suddenly it feels like last night was just a dream and he's not my friend anymore but just a soldier.

I quickly put my shoes on when I hear Mullers' 's talking to Ludwig, like usual. Muller still gives me the creeps but Ludwig seems to be quite comfortable around him. What if Muller ever finds out I've got Ludwig's watch? He will probably think I've stolen it and kill me. Let's just hope he'll never find out it's gone. This must be the worst day of my life because only a few minutes later Muller takes Ludwig's arm, pointing at his wrist. Oh God I'm going to die, he'll find out.

...

_Ludwig_

"I've lost it yesterday, at the Christmas party" I knew he would find out.

"That's too bad, I'll get you another one sometime. That Russian guy.."

"What about him?" I'm glad he doesn't go on about the watch.

"He's a troublemaker, yesterday he almost killed one of his fellow prisoners with a pickaxe. He also steals food and clothing from them, not that I care of course " I sigh deeply, Muller always tries to prove to himself that he doesn't care about all those people. "but still I wouldn't like to be alone with him, not without my gun I mean, because I went up to him and he just keeps looking at me in the most disrespectful way and then I hit him, of course"

Of course you did..

"But he didn't even flinch! He's crazy"

"That will change soon, the lack of food will affect him" I'm suddenly very worried about Feliciano who has to sleep almost next to him every night.

"I don't think so, he just steals food from the weaker ones"

"I'll keep an eye on him" I definitely will.

...

_Feliciano_

Finally it's time for work, I'm waiting for Sacha because we always go together. When I walk past Ivan, who's talking to another guy I hear him speaking about Ludwig.

"Ivan be careful, if they find out you're stealing stuff from fellow prisoners they will shoot you" The other guy says.

"That blond haired soldier won't, he's different and his brown haired friend neither because he's scared of me" They all laugh. So Ivan's not even scared of Muller? I can't believe it.

"They are the ones carrying weapons Ivan"

"I'm not afraid to die, but if I have to die then I'll kill one of them first"

"No you won't!" I didn't mean to say this out loud. What did I do?

The Russian looks slightly confused. "Why do you care? We all hate the Nazi's right? "

"I-I just don't want any of us to get into trouble" I stammer.

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	5. Chapter 5

**A Christmas gift for you all! Thanks everyone for your kind reviews. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. (I've changed it like five times which is why it took me so long)**

_Feliciano_

I'm on my way to the kitchen and I'm really hungry. When I walk passed a few trees someone suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"Nn-ooo-mhh" A gloved hand prevents me from speaking.

"Sshht! It's me" The person turns me around. "Ludwig!" I exclaim happily.

"Be quiet please,or they will hear us" He whispers.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy to see you and mhhh-" Again he's trying to silence me with his hand over my mouth. The feeling of the smooth leather of his glove on my lips is strangely arousing.

I take his hand and remove his glove before placing a small kiss upon the backside of his hand. He looks about to run away. His shyness is so very sweet.

"It's cold.. " He says. His hands are suddenly trembling. I just kissed his hand and all he says is that it's cold, it makes me laugh.

"I guess I'm used to it" I point at my worn clothes.

"I'm sorry.. Do you have the letter?"

"Yes I do, here it is" I hand him the piece of paper which includes my brother's home address. He puts it into his pocket.

"Feliciano, there's something I want to tell you" Once again he's staring at the ground, blushing furiously.

"What is it?" Please don't tell me you don't like me..

"When you touched my hand and .. you know eh "

What's he trying to tell me?

"I liked it"

Only a few simple words are enough to make me feel warm inside.

"Well, I like you"

"But.. how? I don't understand I'm a.."

"You're a German, yes. So? "

"I'm not just a German, I'm a SS soldier"

"No you're not.."

Ludwig laughs. "Well, I look like one don't you think?"

"I mean you're not like that. You're a nice person and I love you"

"Y-you love me?"

"Yes I love you so much that I can't stop thinking about you at night"

He raises his eyebrows.

"No, I didn't mean that I think about doing dirty things with you.. or well actually I do" Why is it so hard for me to just keep my mouth shut?

"Then I think you will like this.." He whispers before leaning in and kissing me tenderly on the lips. His breath is hot on my face and suddenly I'm standing on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss.

_My soldier_

He wraps his strong arms around my waist and lifts me slightly, holding me closer to his chest.

...

_Ludwig_

I enter my bedroom, still smiling. This was the best day of my life, I've kissed Feliciano and he loves me.

_Sweet and beautiful Feliciano_

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice Muller.

"Mein Gott, what happened to you?" His bare arms are covered in bruises and he's holding a wet cloth against his forehead.

"Just a little accident."

"You're lying to me, you know you can tell me everything. We're friends remember?"

He nods. "Ludwig I know that but I don't want to talk about it.

"I'm just worried ok?" I touch his arm but he pushes me away.

"Don't touch me" He's in tears but he's not drunk this time, which is a rare sight.

"I'm sorry. "

He doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push the subject.

...

I still want to know what happened to Muller yesterday but it won't be easy to find out.

He's been talking to Josef a lot these days. Josef's a Jewish prisoner, I'm sure Feliciano knows who he is.

"Feliciano?" I whisper. The Italian's collecting all valuables. Luckily there are no guards, just a few other prisoners who don't pay attention to us at all.

"Ludwig" This time he remembers to keep his voice down.

"Do you know this prisoner called Josef? I've seen him around you a few times"

"Yes I do, he's a very nice guy. Why?" A nice guy eh? still it has got something to do with him.

"Did you notice any changes in his behavior?"

"He has been very happy these days ; smiling all the time.. like... just like me after I met you" He smiles at me and mein Gott he looks so innocent, so beautiful.

"Did Josef do something wrong?" He looks worried.

"I don't know. Muller got into a fight with someone and I want to know who it is. "

"Josef would never do such a thing, ,maybe it's another soldier? Because if it was a prisoner Muller could have just shot him right?"

"Hm, maybe. Could you try and talk to Josef? Don't tell him what happened, just..." How to explain this?

"I know what you mean" He winks at me and I want to kiss him right there and then, but it's impossible.

...

_Feliciano_

Sacha's been ill today, he's got a fever and I decided to leave him alone for a while so he can get some sleep. I find Josef sitting on his bed, drawing something on a piece of paper, _a rose._ Josef's a really good artist.

"Hey Josef" I hop onto the bed next to him.

"Hey Feliciano, how are you doing? I've heard about Sacha, it's so sad"

"It is, but I'm feeling well. How about you?"

"Yes I'm doing fine" He's not smiling this time, he looks rather ad. "Great, we have to survive this stupid war right? I'm getting used to these bad circumstances, and I guess we're lucky because our guards are not that bad right?" There was no other way to bring up the subject.

"No not at all"

We don't say anything for a while. Josef's finishing his drawing.

"Feliciano, I can trust you right? I mean we don't know each other very well but you're the only person I trust, and Sacha of course"

"Of course you can trust me"

"Do you know where Muller is today? You know the brunet"

"I know who you're talking about" He suddenly looks really hopeful.

"Is he sick?"

"No!" I say a little too fast. "I mean why would he be sick? Maybe he just got the day off"

"He would have told me..." I didn't fail to catch his last sentence.

"Do you like him?"

Josef nods, tears are streaming down his face. "I feel so ashamed, I'm Jewish and I fall in love with _him_ !"

"Don't be ashamed, it just happens. " It happened to me too..

"Something's wrong he always tells me when he's got the day off."

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow"

"You don't think I'm crazy?" Josef's still crying.

"No of course not. If you love him then he must be a nice person"

"He brings me bread and chocolate and he's really handsome right?" I'm happy to see Josef smile again.

"Yes he is. Bread and chocolate? That really surprises me I always thought that he was a little creepy" Does Ludwig know about this all? I don't think so..

Josef laughs. "He's just pretending, even to himself. Actually he's a very sweet guy" Right why else would he be Ludwig's best friend.

**I guess this was the shortest chapter ever but I didn't have any more time =( **

**Please review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Another Christmas gift! yay ;) Thanks for reviewing. Enjoy!**

_Feliciano_

The next day Muller's back again, a large bruise still evident on his forehead. He's leaning against the wall, watching us having dinner but what worries me the most is the enormous change in his behavior ; He doesn't yell or take away our plates. He looks a little lost.

Josef walks up to him and I can hear them talk, nobody else is paying attention to them because food is a lot more important to everyone.

To everyone, except for Ivan Braginski..

He's staring at them, just like me, that stupid smile plastered onto his face.

"What happened?" Josef whispers.

"Someone knows..and that person beat me up last Thursday"

"But who? I didn't tell anyone"

"I'm not going to tell you who did it because I know you won't be able to control your emotions and it will only make it worse. I don't want you to get hurt"

I think I know who did this..

"I don't understand, you could have killed him right?"

"It's really difficult, I can't talk about it ok?"

"But why would he hurt you?" I've never seen Josef this angry.

"Because he needs something from me. I'm ok and that's what matters right? I'm here, with you"

Ivan Braginski's now staring at me.

"Something wrong, Feliciano?" He asks innocently.

I don't answer but I shoot him the I-know-what-you-did look. The Russian just laughs.

So now I know who did it, but why?

Where's Ludwig? I need to tell him. I soon find out where he is because on my way back to our barrack someone pulls me away again. Far away this time, behind our barrack.

"Ludwig you're going to break my arm" I laugh.

"I'm sorry but this is a very special day" He's out of breath like he's been running to this place.

"Why is this a special day?"

The snow is reaching to my knees and I almost trip.

"Because you'll be going with me, to my room and have dinner with me"

"What? but how?"

"There's a party tonight at the camp commanders' house and I said I won't be going because I'm feeling sick. It means that nobody's at the building until one am."

"But my friends will ask where I am! They will find out"

"Nein, Muller told everyone you stole food from the kitchen and that you'll be punished for it" He seems really proud about this amazing idea.

" I don't know what to say." I'm suddenly feeling very nervous, this is going to be dangerous.

"Ok. It's a small room but it's our only change, it won't happen again"

...

This is a really awkward situation and I don't want to let go of Ludwig's hand. The room is small and I thought it would be more.. luxurious. The walls are grey and there are just two beds in it, it looks quite depressing but it smells like Ludwig's subtle aftershave.

Ludwig's side of the room is very tidy, maybe a little sterile, some clothes neatly folded and placed upon his bed while Muller's side of the room is a total mess.

I push him and he didn't see it coming and stumbles backwards onto the bed.

"Why did you do that for?" He asks seriously. Is he really that naive?

"Because I want to be close to you" I whisper before crawling on top of him.

"But dinner..!"

"Dinner can wait, right?"

"I suppose so" Suddenly his hands are on my shirt, taking it off. "I hate to see you wearing those clothes." I nod and take my pants of too. He hands me one of his white button down shirts. "You can wear this tonight"

"But I'm dirty, the last time I was allowed to take a shower is weeks ago!"

"I don't care. It looks good on you" Now it's my time to blush as I put it on. It's too big for me but the smooth fabric feels really comfortable and the fact that it's Ludwig's shirt makes me feel sexy.

"Hm so beautiful" He kisses me, his tongue playing with mine. The blond takes his own shirt off too, folding it neatly before pulling me closer to him.

"Oh more" I moan. Soon we're both naked and Ludwig's shyness is gone.

His hands are everywhere on my body and my God we're both so hard.

"I want to make love to you" I want to have sex with him too, but again I feel nervous. He's so big.. and my body's so small and weak. I'm a little scared.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to" Another kiss upon my cheek.

"I want to .. but.. I'm scared" I admit.

"Don't be, you can eh.. take me if you like?" He's rubbing circles on my arm with his thumb, trying to comfort me.

"Are you sure you want this?"

He nods. "I'm very sure I want this"

When I enter him It feels like I'm in heaven, I literally see stars. Ludwig's all quiet, I guess he's in pain. Sweat's dripping down his forehead.

"Are you ok?" I ask worriedly. "Or do you want me to stop?"

"I'm ok" He whispers. I push deeper and hit something deep inside of him that must have felt really good because he's squirming and moaning.

"Ah, please do that again.. please?"

"Hm you like that eh?" I kiss him playfully before thrusting into him again.

"Oh, ja I do" His voice is rough.

I go faster and faster until he comes.

This feels so good that it doesn't take long before I come deep inside of him.

I carefully pull out of him and watch my cum dripping from his entrance onto his thighs, it's a very erotic sight.

"I've never felt this good in my life.. danke"

"Ludwig, I love you so much"

We stay like that for a long time, Ludwig's arms wrapped around me.

...

We're having dinner on the ground. Ludwig arranged enough food and even lit some candles. "You must be very hungry"

"I am, I almost can't believe I'm having dinner with you Ludwig. What if this is a dream?"

"Don't worry it's not a dream" The food's delicious ; chicken yumm. It's cold but it doesn't matter it's still perfect.

Ludwig eats really slowly, taking small bites and chewing like a hundred times on only one piece of meat. He keeps surprising me and whenever I find out something new about him I love him even more.

I wish this night would never end.

**Please review?**


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sorry it took me so long to update but I'm really busy, so don't expect any fast updates. I must admit that I'm a little stuck with this story, sort of writers block, (which always happens to me with every fic) so if you have any ideas please tell me.

everyone : Don't worry, Ludwig will be on top next time ;)

Roses for everyone who left a review!

_**Feliciano**_

I want to tell Ludwig about Muller, that I know it's Ivan Braginski who hurt him the other day but I'm scared to tell him. I'm sure he'll go to Ivan and tell him he knows what he did, because he cares about Muller, but what if Ivan hurts him too? That Russian monster doesn't seem to be afraid to die. Should I tell him or not? If I don't tell him about it, it feels like I'm lying to him and maybe Ludwig can help his friend before it happens again. Or should I just keep an eye on Muller and help him out.. no wait, what could I possibly do to help him? I will only make things worse.

"Are you ok?" Ludwig asks, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I'm ok, but there's something I need to tell you it's about Muller.."

"Tell me" He takes my hand and starts playing with my fingers while listening carefully.

"I think I know who beat him up.. It's Ivan Braginski, the Russian who stole my shoes twice. I'm not sure.. I mean I can't prove it, but the way he was staring at him, he's got something to do with it. There's just one thing I don't understand ; how did he get away with it? Why didn't Muller just kill him?"

"Because last week we were told by our commander that we should be really careful with him. We're going to lose this war.. the Russians are coming and Ivan will put in a word for some high officers. We're not allowed to harm the bastard or there will be consequences for us"

I can't believe what Ludwig just said ; the Russian's are coming? The Nazis will lose this war? We will be free very soon? I'm not going to die in this awful place?

I'm smiling widely, this is such good news. But what about Ludwig?.. oh God. I quickly try to look serious again.

"It's ok. I know you're happy, this is great news for you. I thought you already knew about this"

"No, we don't know what happens outside the camp. We hear nothing but rumors. Ludwig, what will happen to you when the Russians are coming?" I ask worriedly.

He shakes his head. "I don't know, but I'm .. scared. What would you do if you finally caught a monster who treated these prisoners so badly? I don't think they will be nice to us"

"But you're not like that. You've been nice to the prisoners"

"The red army doesn't know about that and I don't think they care. All Germans are the same to them.. mein Gott the Russians are even worse than us"

I wrap my arm around his shoulders. "Then why don't you just run away?"

Ludwig laughs. "The important officers will run away, but not us.. we will be ordered to stay here, to burn all of those stupid papers that will betray what we did to you people. We're just soldiers remember? They don't care about what will happen to us."

"That makes me really sad. Please hold me" He pulls me closer to him and I can feel his breath upon my skin. Why do I feel so safe in his strong arms?

"Now I'm going to worry about you all day" I whisper.

"Don't. It will take months before the Russians get here, besides I'm not alone. Muller will stay here with me"

I smile while thinking about Josef who will be worried about Muller if he finds out about this.

"I still want to find out why that Russian bastard beat my best friend up"

I cough, feeling a little uneasy. I need to tell him, I can trust him right?

"Well maybe it has got something to do with the fact that.. eh.. Muller's with Josef" The blond raises his eyebrows.

"What do you mean 'Muller's with Josef'?"

I don't dare to look at him. "Muller and Josef.. are like us, together"

"Was? No you're lying, that can't be true!" Ludwig's pacing up and down the room. "Nein, that's not true. He would have told me"

"Ludwig, I'm not lying. You didn't tell him about us either right? He must have been afraid you would get angry with him"

He seems to be considering this.

"I've told him about us, yesterday, but I just can't believe it.. Muller in love with a Jewish prisoner?"

"It's the truth"

Then he starts laughing. "We've always been very much alike but this.. It surprises me"

...

_**Muller**_

The bag filled with food which I'm carrying is really heavy. Why did Ivan, of all people, have to find out? I should have never kissed Josef ; pretending I hate all of them was a better idea after all. If Ivan was just another prisoner, not a rich Russian man who promised to put in a word for some high SS officers if we lose this war, then I could have just killed him. I want to talk to Ludwig about this so badly but I don't want him to get into trouble because Ivan's crazy enough to extort us both, especially because he loves that Italian prisoner what's his name again? Fernando I think.

Ivan Braginski's a lucky bastard ; he doesn't have to work hard and he can take a break whenever he wants. He trades stuff which he stole from his fellow prisoners with guards, he's a really smart guy. _Don't hurt Ivan Braginski , he's very important to us _That's what our commander said. That Russian pig will easily survive this war and he can do whatever the hell he wants to me.

"There you are" That Russian accent makes me shiver. He's standing right in front of me, looking me up and down. I drop the bag.

"Here's your food" I want to leave but he stops me. He doesn't let go of my arm.

"Not so fast, unless you want something bad to happen to Josef.."

"No I don't"

"Hm? You should speak up. Whenever you're talking to prisoners at the quarry I can hear you quite well, it's funny"

I don't answer him while silently praying for him not to touch me because I'll have to explain the bruises again and Ludwig won't believe me if I told him it was just another accident.

He slaps me but I don't even flinch. "You've got your food, so what else do you want?"

Ivan reaches under his bed, revealing a bottle of vodka wrapped in a small blanket. I haven't been drinking for the past two weeks, which is a very long time for me, because both Ludwig and Josef wanted me to stop drinking alcohol but when Ivan shows me that bottle I get shaky hands.

"Do you want some?" The Russian asks innocently.

"N-no" I try to look away, I want it so badly.

"You don't? Looks like you really need it" He's points at my hands.

Don't do it, don't.. Josef will be very angry with you. I keep silently repeating to myself.

"Soldiers are not allowed to consume alcohol during the day" I want to walk away but Ivan grabs my wrist again.

"I know about your little problem and I know what it's like, but what's wrong with only one glass of voda eh? Here just take it with you, maybe you'll change your mind" He hands me the bottle and I take it.

"I'll see you next time" Ivan says and he squeezes my shoulder before leaving the barrack.

Ivan would only give me something to cause trouble and I know that but I feel so lost these days. I didn't talk to Josef for a few days because I'm scared people will find out. Ludwig's busy with that Italian guy so there are no more comforting hugs or good conversations between us and Ivan just touched my shoulder and it somehow felt comforting, even though he's a bastard.

_**Ludwig**_

Felicano went back to the barracks and I miss him already,so I decided to smoke a cigarette outside. I can't stop thinking about my beautiful boyfriend. It's cold outside but I don't feel it, I still feel warm inside. When I get back inside a few minutes later I find Muller sprawled out on his bed, he doesn't greet me.

"Hey Muller, are you ok?" I want to make a joke about his relationship with Josef, just because I'm happy for him but he looks awful ; his usually shiny brown hair looks rather dull.

"Have you been drinking again?" He's facing the wall but when I roll him onto his back I realize that he's unconscious and that there's an empty bottle of vodka discarded on the floor.

The label on the bottle of vodka is in Russian, where did Muller get this? He never drinks any vodka, how could he be so stupid. It's too strong. Wait, Ivan Braginski...

"Muller, please wake up"

**Pleaseee review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks everyone for leaving a review! I've been writing this at work in a bit of a hurry.. my job is killing me *coughs* I'm working with chemical powders all day and I've burned my hands really bad! .. I forgot to wear gloves.. stupid I know. You might find some errors.**

**Enjoy reading!**

"Muller, wake up" I try again, feeling a sort of slow panic rising in my chest.

I take his wrist, checking his pulse. He's still alive thank God.. but it's a strong but irregular pulse which worries me even more. I'm about to get him a doctor when he opens his eyes.

"Ludwig?" His voice is weak.

"Muller, mein Gott. What happened to you?"

He smiles. "I did something stupid.. again. I'm sorry. I drank too much vodka and I passed out"

"Well if you ever do that again, I will kill you myself !" I snap, not really meaning it of course.

He only smiles. "And stop smiling , this is serious! I thought you were poisoned."

Muller sighs deeply. "You sound like my father, I'm sorry ok?"

Sometimes I really hate his carefree personality but still I can't stay angry with him.

"Did Ivan Braginski give you this?" I show him the bottle.

He nods. "How did you know?"

"Feliciano told me.. about you and Josef too"

Muller doesn't look at me, probably feeling ashamed.

"It's ok. I'm happy for you, I'm sure you two make a nice couple"

Muller laughs bitterly. "A Jew and a SS soldier.. a nice couple indeed"

Suddenly he starts crying and I want to be there for him, I want to comfort him but I don't know how so I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly.

"Don't cry" I whisper.

"I'm afraid that one day Josef will be gone.. they will bring him to the so called 'showers' and that I'll never see him again."

Soon we're both crying and I realize we must look ridiculous; on Muller's bed, hugging each other.

"We have to safe them" I finally speak up.

Muller looks up at me, wiping away his tears with his sleeve.

"How can we possibly safe them?"

"We have to help them escape. It will be hard, but it's not impossible."

"But then we'll never see them again!"

"No, we'll go with them." Muller's eyes widen.

"The Russians will get here in a few months and they will kill us." I explain to him. "Besides, they will never survive on their own in those woods, they need us. We're strong and we have weapons."

"Where will we go?"

I didn't think about that yet. "I don't know, but what I do know is that I would rather die from hunger with Feliciano in my arms, then watch him die first in the gas chambers and be shot by one of those Russian soldiers afterwards"

"You're right. When do we go?" We're both really nervous.

"As soon as possible, but we have to collect some food and weapons before we leave. Let's say Wednesday?" Only three more days.

Muller nods and squeezes my hand.

"We will tell Josef and Feliciano tomorrow"

...

_Ludwig_

The next day we're up early to plan our escape. We're dressed in nothing but our underwear and our hair is a mess. We started talking about Wednesday immediately after we woke up.

"Nein I've got a better idea; you accuse them of something and tell them they will be punished, you take them to the fence and I will follow afterwards, otherwise it's a little suspicious if we both disappear at the same time right?"

I yawn, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"Nein, you will take them to the fence and I will follow later. You've been through too much lately"

Muller finally agrees with me.

...

_Feliciano_

"Sacha, let me help you!" Sacha's carrying two heavy boxes filled with vegetables to the kitchen.

"Thank you Feliciano" He hands me one of the boxes.

"How's your German soldier?" He asks on our way to the kitchen.

"Still beautiful" I say grinning. We both laugh just when Ludwig's coming our way. He looks a little different, his bangs down this time and his slightly rolled up sleeves revealing his strong, bare arms.

"Hallo" He greets us, being a little shy like always.

"Hallo. We were just talking about you" Sacha dares to say.

"Oh really? Feliciano I need to talk to you, oh and Josef too. Meet me at the barrack in a few minutes. Don't worry about work"

"Oh but I need to help Sacha with this.."

"Let me, bitte" He takes both boxes from us and brings them to the kitchen, leaving the both of us speechless.

...

I found Josef at the quarry and quickly told him to come with me. We're both excited about it.

"Will Muller be there too?" Josef asks hopefully.

"I don't know, let's hope so" I squeeze his shoulder.

When we enter the barrack both Ludwig and Muller are present.

I hurry to Ludwig's side and hug him tightly. Josef runs to Muller and does the same thing.

Muller looks like he's having a hangover and I guess they both didn't sleep too well last night.

"We wanted to talk to you about something really important" Ludwig starts. "Wednesday we will escape this awful place"

It sounds really simple but we all know it will be far from easy.

Josef's the first one to speak up. "But.. how?"

"Well that's quite simple; there's a second gate nearby the SS kitchen." Muller explains.

"But it will be dangerous" I bring in.

"If we stay here you will both die at this place and if the Russians arrive here in a few months, they will kill us too so it's the only way to survive, and we will protect you of course"

We both blush, thinking about Muller and Ludwig who will be there to protect us, it's slightly romantic despite the situation.

I take Ludwig's hand. "Where will we go?" I ask slightly worried.

"Ah" He strokes my hair. "Don't be scared. We don't know where we will be going, if it means we will have to stay in the woods for months until the war is over, then so be it. Partisans have been doing that for years."

"It may sound like a stupid plan, but we promise we will take care of you" Muller reassures us.

"We all need new clothes because we don't want to look like prisoners and SS soldiers of course. Muller and I will take care of that and we will also get us weapons and some food for the first few days"

This whole plan sounds dangerous but it will be better than living here, at least I can be with Ludwig all day and we may survive the war.

"So Wednesday Muller will bring the both of you to the gate and you will escape first, unlike the main gate there are only two guards there and they have their lunch break around twelve o'clock. I will follow you later and take the bags with weapons and food with me."

"But Sacha!" I don't want to leave my best friend at this awful place.

Muller sighs deeply. "Hey it's not like we can help _everyone_ to escape this place"

"Mulller don't be like that" Ludwig snaps. "He's talking about the older guy, he's Feliciano's best friend."

"We can't take the old guy with us! He won't survive"

Ludwig seems to be considering this.

"Ludwig please" I'm begging him.

"Fine, he can come along with us." Muller doesn't seem happy about it but he doesn't say anything about it either.

**Please review?**


	9. Chapter 9

**I wish I had more time to update this fic more often! Thanks for leaving a review, I usually read them at work lol and they make my day. Have fun reading!**

_Ludwig_

Gathering food wasn't a problem, no not at all. Getting weapons was a little harder but we managed to get everyone a gun. The hardest thing to find are new clothes for us all, it's impossible so we decided to give Feliciano, Josef and Sacha some of our clothes and Muller and I have to wear our uniforms despite it's dangerous.

Tomorrow we will leave this place.

"Why do we have to take that old man with us? He will get tired easily and he's just useless ok?" Muller keeps complaining about it, sometimes he can be so childish.

"Because he's Feliciano's best friend. Just like you're my best friend, remember? I wouldn't leave you here either"

"But I'm not an old man and I'm not useless.."

"Even if you were an old man and useless" I playfully push him away. "Besides, Sacha's not useless he and Feliciano both used to practice as doctors before the war"

"Oh, well let's hope we don't need a doctor on this trip"

...

Finally it's Wednesday and we're fully prepared. I didn't speak to Feliciano for the past two days because it might have looked suspicious, but we all know what to do. Josef, Sacha and my sweet Feliciano will go to work like usual and they will wait until Muller takes them with him. I'm sure it will work but I'm worried about them because I'm not with them, I have to trust Muller. He's intelligent and he's strong, he will succeed.

The only thing I need to do is get the bags filled with food, weapons and clothes from the shed nearby the gate.

I wait until it's three o'clock, time to go.

...

_Feliciano_

"The three of you, follow me right now!" Finally Muller's voice, I'm so nervous that start trembling. Josef and Sacha look nervous too. When we're out of sight behind one of the barracks Muller turns to us.

"Everyone ready?" He asks. His heavy accent's still sending shivers up to my spine. I can trust him, but it's just that I don't know him very well. Sacha seems to have the same problem, he's staring at the ground avoiding Muller's eyes. Josef on the other hand looks like he wants to kiss him right there and then. It's funny. We all nod.

"Yes we're ready" We answer at the same time.

"Gut. Well I've got one of these for all of you, atleast Ludwig has them right now, you will get them as soon as we're out of here" He shows us his gun.

None of us knows how to use it but it makes us feel safe anyway.

Sacha's health condition still worries me; he looks tired and ill. He needs to eat something soon or he won't make it. Muller explains to us that we will be heading to the gate and as soon as we're past the gate we will have to run until we reach the forest, Sacha won't be able to do that.

...

_Ludwig_

When I enter the little shed I feel slightly relieved; the bags are still there which means nobody knows about our escape.

Feliciano and the rest of the group must have reached the forest already. No alarm, no shooting.. I think they made it and I pray for them all to be safe.

Just when I want to take the bags with me and leave, another person appears in the doorway. It happens to be Ivan Braginski, the last person I want to see right now. The Russian closes the door and moves closer to me. I try to act normal.

"What are you doing here? Go back to work!" I shout at him like any German soldier would.

Ivan smiles , gazing me up and down. "Why? because you want to escape just like your friends did?" He asks innocently. Sweat's suddenly dripping down my forehead. How the hell did he find out about this? I'm speechless.

"Don't worry, they succeeded." Thank God!

"And now you're going to take me with you..."

"W-was? You can't be serious" I feel panic rising in my chest.

"Oh yes I am serious"

"What makes you think that I will do that?" I reach for my gun because I know I'll have to shoot him but he steps closer to me and then there's pain, so much pain. I drop my gun. Mein Gott there's blood... Ivan stabbed me in the lower right side of my abdomen and I start to feel dizzy.

" This" Is his simple reply to my last question. If I faint now it's over, my friends will leave me here if I don't meet up with them within an hour. Stay awake, I keep telling myself. I watch Ivan taking the bags, then he offers me his hand.

"Come on, take it. If you stay here you'll get medication for that... but you will never see your boyfriend again. "

I take his hand, not really caring what happens to me anymore. I need to see Feliciano, he's a doctor too I'm sure he can help me. If I ever make it to the forest..

...

I can't do this anymore, I'm giving up but the Russian's pointing a gun at my head and keeps pushing me forward.

Why was it so easy to escape? There were no guards at the gate, which is almost impossible. What did Ivan tell them? or give them?

"Faster!" He pushes me again.

"Why are you doing this? Why wounding me first? I can't.. go.. any faster"

"I can't overpower two German soldiers.. but if one of them is wounded, the whole situation changes. You will see" He says smiling.

I still don't understand why he's doing this, maybe it's because I can't think clearly right now.

"Why go with us? Why don't you just go your own way?" I manage to say.

"No questions" He shouts and pushes me again causing me to fall over into the mud.

"Get up!"

I feel like throwing up, I'm so damn tired. I won't bleed to death it's not that bad, but it makes me feel dizzy anyway. I try not to think about how it will get infected soon; getting stabbed with a dirty knife then being pushed into the mud is not a good thing. Muller stole some medication from the hospital but it's not much.

I get up, apparantly not fast enough because Ivan grabs a fistful of my hair and I once again he's pointing my own gun at me.

"It's funny, now you're the prisoner and I'm the one threatening to kill you if you don't listen to me. Usually it's the other way round."

"I've never done anything like that.." I whisper and I know it's true, even though Ivan won't believe me.

"Hm oh really? Don't lie to me. "

"I've never shot a prisoner, I'm not like that." A few tears escape but I don't want that Russian pig to see them so I quickly wipe them away with my sleeve. I can't bare the thought that people will actually think I was just like the rest of them.

Ivan's not in hurry, we're far away from the gate now anyway.

The Russian leans closer to me. "Wearing that uniform makes you as guilty as the rest of them, that's what my comrades will say when I bring you to them, together with your friend my dear Muller"

Risking our lives to escape the camp was useless after all... Ivan will bring us to the Red Army anyway. Atleast Feliciano and Josef will be free and that's what matters to me.

I need to do something but running away is useless because he will shoot me, besides I'm wounded too. I need my gun. He doesn't let go of my hair but I feel him loosening his grip slightly and I use all of my strength to break free, then push him to the ground. I crawl on top of him and punch him in the face several times, but he tries to grab my arms and I feel that I'm going to lose this fight so I start using my nails. Blood is streaming down his face. He didn't have time to shoot me but he didn't drop my gun either so I try to take it from him. The Russian uses his free hand to push at the wound on my stomach and it hurts so much that I let go of his face and he easily pushes me backwards.

**Please leave a review? You'll get Dutch stroopwafels ;) and I promise I'll update as soon as possible. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm having a few days off so I finally have time to update this story. I finally got my dream job but now that it takes so much energy and patience and I'm walking around like a zombie it's more like a nightmare. LoL**

**Thanks to Meluzina for helping me out again; if it wasn't for her I would have abonded this story. You're the best! **

"Get off me!" I yell, still struggling. The Russian simply smiles and leans closer to my face. I need to fight him but he's on top of me and he's so damn heavy.

"You fucking bastard g-mhh" His calloused hand prevents me from speaking. Ivan seems relieved. "Ssssthh, I can't bare to hear you speak with that awful accent any longer" He laughs, like he just made some kind of funny joke. "There's something I don't understand; how did you Germans get this far when you're all just weak little boys" I try to bite his hand.

"Don't!" He snaps. "I mean you all pretend to be strong, the master race but as soon as you're unarmed and alone there's nothing left of your strength"

...

_Feliciano_

"Oh Sacha hurry! Please don't give up, we have to survive!" I try to encourage him despite it's useless. The poor old man is dead tired, he just won't make it. We all follow Muller, who doesn't look nervous anymore, he looks like a real soldier on a mission. Josef never leaves his side.

I look beside me again just when Sacha falls down onto the ground.

"Sacha!"

"Feliciano just - go! Don't wait for me" He whispers.

"Never!" I'm close to tears but I tell myself not to cry because it's useless. My best friend needs my help.

"Muller!" I call his name several times, afraid he might won't hear me but he stops immediately and hurries to my side.

"What's wrong?" He asks, sounding a little out of breath.

"It's Sacha, he won't make it!"

"I've told you all that the old man would never make it!" Muller raises his voice to me. "We can't stay here and wait for him to gather his strength, we have to go!"

''NO!" I won't leave Sacha here, I never will.

"We HAVE to go!" Now I know why I still don't like Muller very well; it's his aggressive attitude. I understand that everyone's upset in a situation like this, but I know that Ludwig will never speak to me like that nor make the decision to just leave Sacha here.

I grab Muller's arm, my nails digging into his skin.

"I won't let you go until you think of a way to take Sacha with us!" Muller probably wants to say something rude again but Joseph is there to push me away. Josef takes Muller's wrist, placing a kiss upon the bruised skin. "Jochen, please.. do it for me? You can carry him.. I know you can do that, you're strong"

_Jochen_? So that's Muller's first name? I've never heard anyone call him that before, not even Ludwig.

Muller finally sighs. "I'll do anything for you, you know that right?"

...

When we finally reach the forest I just want to lay down and fall asleep but of course there's no time for that. Muller looks about to pass out, he has been carrying Sacha onto his back the whole way, then he burried the food and medication somewhere. Sacha thanks him for saving his life and I feel slightly ashamed. What would Ludwig think if he just witnessed me hurting his best friend just because he wouldn't listen to me? If it wasn't for Joseph, Sacha would still be there.. left alone. I make a mental note to thank them for that later. Now all we have to do is wait for Ludwig.

"He's late.." Muller speaks up. Everyone knows that Ludwig's late but none of us dared to speak about it yet.

"He will show up" I say, trying to convince myself.

"Nein, this is not good. Ludwig's never late"

" He will show up! Can't you just keep your mouth shut?" I'm surprised about my own sudden outburst, I'm never like this.

"I've known Ludwig for years, he will never be late unless there's something wrong" Muller keeps calm.

There he is...

"I'm here, please don't panic" Ludwig stammers and I feel like throwing up when I see Ivan Braginski pointing a gun at Ludwig's head.

Muller immediately jumps up, pointing his gun at Ivan but the Russian smiles like always.

"Ahh, give me the gun boy or I will shoot your friend right now"

I feel panic rising in my chest. Please don't shoot him.. please don't shoot him I pray. When I look at Ludwig I realize he's wounded. He looks very pale and tired and he's avoiding my eyes.

Of course Muller doesn't hand Ivan his gun, instead he steps closer to the Russian giant.

"I'll say this only one more time; give me your gun or I will kill him" Ivan warns him.

"What do you want from us? and what the hell did you do to him you fucking freak?" I learn more and more about Muller's personality every day and sometimes I think he's like a child. He doesn't seem to listen to anyone, which is quite unusual for a German soldier. I would laugh about his behavior if it weren't for Ivan threatening to kill my boyfriend.

"Tell your friend to give me the gun and back off, unless you want to die" Ivan orders Ludwig.

"Muller, give him the gun. It's ok" Ludwig's voice sounds hoarse.

"Please Ivan I need to attend to his wounds" I bring in, flailing my arms in a desperate gesture.

"NOT NOW!" Ivan barks at me. I've never felt this desperate in my life.

Josef has been quiet the whole time, his hand tugged into his pocket. I know what he's thinking about; we all carry a gun it's just that none of us knows how to use it.

I want to tell him not to use it because it will only make things worse but I can't. I pray for him to be wise enough to give Muller the gun whenever Ivan's not paying attention.

"We'll stay here for the night. If one of you tries to run away, I will shoot Ludwig." Ivan simply states before tying Ludwig up to a tree with a piece of rope.

What can I do? I want to talk to Ludwig, I want to take care of him.

Muller will think of something, I keep repeating to myself.

It's already getting dark and we're all dead tired. Ivan ordered us all to sit down and wait, but we don't know what we're waiting for. We're not allowed to talk.

I've never seen Muller looking this nervous before, he wants to sit down next to Josef but Ivan grabs his arm.

"No,not you. You're coming with me"

"Was?" Muller tries to break free from Ivan's iron grip but as soon as the Russian's pointing his gun at him he decides to just follow him.

Ivan orders him to sit down only a few feet away from us. We can hear them speak if we listen carefully.

...

_Muller_

"Take off your jacket"

I do as I'm told, there's nothing else I can do right now so I take off my jacket and hand it over to him.

He decides to empty my pockets and finds my papers.

"Soldat Joachim Muller" Ivan reads, a smile playing on his lips. "So you're just a useless little soldier after all"

I decide to ignore him. I've always known I would never become an officer, I never really wanted to be one either, but that doesn't mean I'm useless. That stupid Russian doesn't even know how to pronounce my name.

"I don't know you very well, but I do know your name now and I know you're an alcoholic who's in love with a Jew"

I want to kill this guy, right now. Ludwig's wounded because of him.

"His name is Josef" I interrupt him but I start feeling uneasy when he shifts closer to me.

"You know I've been interested in you ever since I first saw you" All of a sudden he tries to sound friendly.

"Well I've hated you ever since I first saw you" I snap back at him.

At first he smiles but then he slaps me in the face and I end up with a heavy nosebleed.

"Ahh, now look what you made me do to you. You shouldn't make me angry" The Russian uses his sleeve, trying to wipe away the blood which is not working because it doesn't stop the bleeding.

...

_Feliciano_

Josef who's such a friendly person, looks about to kill Ivan. I touch his hand, trying to comfort him and I tell him that everything is going to be ok.

"He's going to hurt him badly and I'm not going to let that happen ok? How dare he to do that to him. Jochen doesn't deserve that,he's a good man" Josef whispers.

"I know that"

They're coming back our way; Ivan pushes Muller forward.

"So tomorrow you guys.." He points at Ludwig and Muller. "will tell me where you've hidden the food and medication, then I will bring you to my friends"

We all know what Ivan means when saying 'my friends'. Ludwig doesn't look up, he's just staring at the ground probably being in a lot of pain.

Muller buried the food and medication somewhere here, even we don't know where.

"No I won't tell you that" Muller says.

"Oh yes you will tell me, or I will shoot your friend" Ivan's eyes are full of hatred.

"If you kill him, I will never tell you where it is either, and you need that food to get to your.. how did you call them? oh ja.. your friends"

I hold my breath, knowing something bad will happen now. Ivan's eyes turn dark, he looks even scarier in the moonlight. Even Ludwig's paying attention to the conversation now; he looks worried about his friend who may be strong just like him but in a fight against Ivan he doesn't stand a change.

The Russian jumps forward and grabs Muller's collar, using his strength to push him to the ground. The rest happens so fast that it's like a nightmare.

Ivan's on top of Muller holding a fistful of brown hair which he just ripped out of his victims head. Muller tries to push him away but his arms are trapped under Ivan's body.

"You think your smart eh? I'm going to kill you and then I'm going to kill your friend"

**Please leave a review? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Finally! I wanted this to be good (I'm still not satisfied but ok...) but I just don't have much time because of my job, grrrr. Holidays are coming up (only one week! poor me) so maybe I will have some more time. Please ignore any mistakes because I know that if I'm going to read this over again I will change it again and again and it will be Christmas before the next chapter is up. **

**Enjoy! and please review ;)**

Muller doesn't stop struggling.

"You really thought you could overpower me right?" Ivan jokes. "I admire your courage, boy" The Russian whispers into the brunet's ear. "Goodbye Muller" He says before pushing Muller face down into the mud. We hear Muller's muffled screams, the poor guy can't breath.

Ivan needs only one hand to keep the German's head in place, using his bodyweight to prevent Muller from struggling any longer.

"Do something...please" Ludwig closes his eyes, knowing his best friend won't survive.

We have to do something right now but we're all paralyzed.

Muller doesn't move anymore and it makes me feel sick, I've never really liked him but I know he's a good guy and watching him being all helpless is enough to make me throw up. Josef reaches into his pocket but the unexpected happens.

BANG!

The Russian stops smiling, his face contorted in pain. An enormous bloodstain is spreading on the Russian's chest. Someone shot him.. It wasn't Ludwig because he's tied up. It wasn't Josef, it wasn't me.. When we turn around there's Sacha holding a gun, the one Muller gave to him earlier today.

Ivan slumps down on top of Muller, dead.

We're all speechless, we all hesitated but Sacha didn't. Ludwig gasps, he wants to get up but he can't and he just slumps back against the tree again.

Sacha doesn't say anything, instead he hurries to Muller's side and quickly turns him onto his back.

The brunet's face is covered in mud and the moment he opens his eyes we all feel relieved.

Now that Muller's safe and Sacha and Josef are there to help him, I go to Ludwig and help him out.

"Ludwig, how do you feel?" I ask worriedly while checking his injuries.

"I-I'm fine, but Muller.." "Ssshh Sacha will take care of Muller, I'm going to help you" I touch the poor soldier's cracked lips. "You must be very thirsty"

I'm thinking about a way to get him some water when his lack of response makes me turn back to him. His eyes are suddenly closed.

"Ludwig open your eyes, stay with me ok?" I slap his cheek. "It's not that bad, you will survive" It's true, if we had the right medication he would feel better soon. "Oh COME ON!" I can't control my emotions any longer.

...

We're all happy to see that Muller's ok, what would we do if both soldiers were injured? We need at least one trained soldier to survive this hell. Josef came up with an idea for a place to sleep; he knows the area better than us because he's from Chelm which is a nearby village in eastern Poland. It's like some sort of cave only smaller, but the five of us fit in has been carrying Ludwig the whole way because he was too tired to walk. The brunet proves to be a real good friend because he never left Ludwig's side for the past few hours.

The situation is just so weird I almost can't believe it's real; only a few months ago when I first saw Ludwig at the quarry he was just a soldier, I was not allowed to talk to him and certainly not to touch him. Now the poor guy's resting his head upon my shoulder, sweat dripping down his handsome face. Sacha looks at me and I know what he means; Ludwig has got a high fever because the wound is infected. I feel guilty; if I never met Ludwig this wouldn't have happened to him. He was safe back at Sobibor but on the other hand what would have happened to him if the Russians arrived?

"I'm sorry" I feel Ludwig's breath upon my skin.

"Why do you feel sorry?" I stroke his cheek, tears stinging my eyes.

"For being so damn weak, any other soldier would have shot Ivan immediately when he said that he knew about our plan to escape but nein not me.. If it was Muller-"

"That's not true, you just saw what happened to Muller when he tried to kill him. You're not weak and I love you just the way you are"

I'm a little lost in my thoughts but I don't fail to notice Muller going over to Sacha. Sacha smiles at him while Muller's avoiding his eyes.

"I want to apologize because I didn't want to take you with me and now you've saved my life. I'm a horrible person"

Sacha places his hand upon Muller's shoulder, talking to him like a father would speak to his son.

"No, you're a young man who finds it difficult to decide between good or wrong and I'm sure that next time you will make the right decision without hesitating. Of course you will make many more mistakes in life, you're not an easy going person, just try to listen to your friends. I don't want anything bad to happen to you"

Muller looks very confused. "H-how can you forgive me so easily?"

"I'm an old man, someday you will understand"

...

Muller brought me the medication but it's not enough and it's not really working. Ludwig has been laying next to me all day, shivering because of the high fever. I'm really tired and I close my eyes for a few seconds when Ludwig starts talking.

"So many flowers" He's speaking in German but luckily I can understand a few words.

"What do you mean Ludwig?"

"Red flowers, no keep them away from me!" I try to grab his arms but he struggles and accidentally hits me in the face.

I ignore the stinging pain. "Ssshh it's ok. There are no flowers, we're in a cave."

"Mein Gott, please kill me.. the pain"

He's in a lot of pain and I'm a damn doctor but there's nothing I can do about it and poor Ludwig keeps struggling so I have to keep his arms pinned aboth his head.

I jump when I feel someone's hand upon my shoulder; it's Sacha.

"Sacha, we have to do something" I'm crying.

"You're right Feliciano, if we don't do anything about it he will die."

I know that Sacha speaks the truth but I don't want to hear this. "No, no I won't let him die"

"I can go to the partisans, I know where they are and I'm Jewish so they will trust me easily" Josef offers.

"And then what? We will have to take Ludwig there and as soon as they find out who we are they will kill us" Muller interrupts him.

"We need clothing, we really need them this time. If both Ludwig and Muller dress like civilians they can pretend to be democrats, right? That would be a good reason to leave Germany, who wants to end up as a political prisoner?" I bring in.

"That's a very good plan, Feliciano but where do we get those clothes?" Sacha asks.

Josef seems very enthusiastic about it and even Muller looks hopeful this time.

"There are a few farms around here, we'll have to steal them there. It will be dangerous but we have to do this for Ludwig" Thank God Josef's with us, without him we would have never made it.

"I'll do that" Muller's the first one to speak up. "Tell me which way to go and I'll get those clothes. I don't want to put you into danger sweetheart" He kisses Josef's cheek, earning a smile.

...

Sacha looks a little worried and I decide to go talk to him. "What's wrong, Sacha?"

"Why does it have to be Muller going over to those farms? I would rather go myself"

I can't suppress my laughter. "Because he's young and strong and fast"

"Feli, that boy's a trouble magnet and you know it" I shake my head. "No, this time he will make it"

**Please leave a review? They always make me update faster.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Yay a fast update! Thanks everyone for reading & leaving a review I love sharing my fics with you, and also thanks to Meluzina (I can't say this enough) because she's just way more creative than I am. **

**To all people sending flames to me (the anonymous ones in particular): don't bother because I just don't care what you think about me =)**

**Enjoy!**

_Muller_

It feels like I've been walking through the damn wet grass for hours while it's only been thirty minutes. My boots make that annoying smacking sound that only reminds me of my loneliness.

I feel nervous, if I screw this up my best friend will die and everyone will be disappointed.

_'I can do this_' I keep telling myself and why would I fail? I'm a soldier, I've done things like this before.

A few minutes later I see one of the farms Josef told me about, but it's still far away.

I think about Josef; I love him so much, he's everything that I'm not. My thoughts drift off to Ludwig and to the first day I met him; we were training and the commander kept yelling at me that I would never make it because I didn't care. I laugh, no I definitely didn't care about anything. Ludwig on the on the other hand was very serious, always following orders like a true German soldier. I can still see him smiling at me for the first time, my attitude making him laugh.

When I reach the farmhouse I pray for the farmer not to be there. Holding my Luger close against my chest I walk around the house. I don't want to go inside because I'm pretty sure I will run into the owner of this farm and things will get nasty.

Wait there's a clothesline! Oh thank God.

After looking around for a few minutes, just to be sure no one's there, I go the clothesline and take two shirts and two pants from it. Then I realize I still need shoes, we can't keep our boots on it would be suspicious. This means I will have to go inside. What if I run into the farmer and he gets violent? I will have to shoot him and what would Josef think about that?

If it wasn't about Josef I would just march in there, shoot the guy and take the shoes but that's my darker side which Sacha warned me about.

After a few minutes I decide to go inside anyway. The door is left open, which means someone's inside. When I enter the kitchen, careful not to make any sounds there's nobody there. I sigh and look around but I can only find one pair of shoes while I need two pair.

Sweat's trickling down my face.

"Hello?" I jump and drop the shoes, when I turn around there's an old man standing in the doorway. What can I do? He doesn't seem unfriendly but he will never give me these shoes because he probably needs them himself and I don't have money.

I point my gun at him and the old man immediately raises his hands speaking to me in Polish. I don't understand what he says but he seems quite frightened, which is good.

"I need your shoes, right now" I'm doing my best to sound threatening, still pointing my gun at him.

The man looks confused when I suddenly realize he probably didn't even understand what I just said. I don't speak Polish and maybe he doesn't speak German. Great...

I point at the shoes I picked up from the ground again and then at the ones he's wearing right now.

"Take - them - off!"

The farmer finally seems to understand what I want and he takes his shoes off and hands them to me. He doesn't look angry, just afraid.

"Danke" I say awkwardly before leaving the house.

...

_Feliciano_

"Why does it take so long?" I'm getting impatient, Ludwig finally fell asleep but I don't leave his side.

"Just be patient, he will come back but he has to be careful ok? It's not easy" Josef looks just as worried as I am.

"What if he doesn't come back? What if he ran into the Russians?" I shouldn't have said that, how could I be so stupid?

"He will come back!" Josef snaps, holding Muller's jacket closer to his chest. "Oh Jochen, please be safe." He whispers.

I go over to Josef and wrap my arms around him. "I'm sorry Josef, I shouldn't have said that I'm just worried ok? I'm sure that he's fine, he's smart"

Josef raises his eyebrows, laughing and crying at the same time. "Smart?" We both smile.

"He's not stupid, he does stupid things sometimes that's all"

"Tell me about your relationship ; when did you fall in love with him?" I'm curious but I also want to cheer him up.

"Alright; I had been staring at him for a few weeks. Everyday when he came into my barrack I was mesmerized by his stunning looks; of course I hated him at first and I was also scared of him but I knew that he had been staring at me too. One day or wait it was during one of those nights when we all had to go outside for counting, I couldn't find my shoes and when I finally found them everyone was already outside and I knew this would get me into trouble. Then Jochen came in and he wanted to yell at me but he didn't, he didn't say anything and I didn't know what to do so I just smiled at him and he smiled back at me. Apparently Jochen is a very straight forward type of person, which I didn't know at that time, and ever since that night we had been talking and well.. you know the rest"

"That's a lovely story" I want to ask more but the look on Josef's face is enough for me to know who just entered the cave.

"Jochen!" Josef jumps into his arms and it makes me both happy and sad at the same time to see them like this while my own boyfriend's sick.

Muller doesn't let go of Josef yet, instead he kisses him deeply before letting him go and turning to me.

"I've got clothes for both me and Ludwig so now it's time for Josef to go to the partisans"

I take the clothes from Muller and turn to Ludwig who's awake now. He's staring at us but it's like he doesn't really see us.

I kneel next to him. "Ludwig? Can you hear me?"

"Feli, I don't want to die" He looks so afraid that it breaks my heart.

"Lud, you don't have to die. Just put those clothes on, I'm sure we will look ridiculous because they are from a seventy year old farmer, but it will safe your life" Muller takes his hand. Ludwig smiles despite the situation. "Muller, thank you for everything"

"That's ok" Muller helps him to get into a sitting position which causes him a lot of pain. "You was there for me when I needed your help, and now I'll be there for you"

The blond suddenly gets a hazy look in his eyes again. "Feli?"

"He's right here beside me. I'll leave you guys alone, just needed to help him to get you upright because it will be a little hard for such a slender guy" Muller winks at me before going over to Josef again to discuss the plan.

I know I have to force him to put those clothes on but I want to check his wound first. When I lift his shirt I'm shocked; the wound is infected which I already knew but even the slightest bit of movement seems to re-open the wound and now he's bleeding again. Why does it have to be on such a difficult place of his body? Why did this have to happen at all?

Ludwig looks down at his injury. "Feli, I need to throw up"

"No you don't, just look at me" I take his face between my hands and force him to look at me. "It's not that bad, as soon as we get to those partisans and I will get the right medication you will feel better soon, I promise"

"This will end badly, if it's not for me then it will for someone else, I've seen it" I take his shirt off and help him to put the new one on.

"What do you mean you've 'seen' it?"

"Yesterday I saw it.."

"Those were just hallucinations, you've got a high fever that's normal."

"Nein, I will either die or lose someone I love, I just know it" I decide not to say anything to that, the poor guy's confused.

**Please review?**


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